better late than never

WOW!
I'm so sorry in the delay of posts! We have had a VERY overwhelming year since we've moved to Alaska and i just wasn't able to sit down in front of my computer and collect all of my thoughts. But i cant wait to share with you what has happened!!! 

    My life has been a constant roller coaster since 2019. Since having Kynslee (yes 5 years ago), I have always felt off. I would emotionally have highs and lows and never really understood why. I would just go about my life. I would brush off the emotions and bury them. I thought i had a handle on them. Then i had Dustin. Scott was deployed, i gave birth by myself, had to take care of three children, got my tubes removed and never really fully recovered from birth or surgery. To this day I still cant catch up with life or anything in my life. And being exhausted is an understatement. Constantly being by myself and not having a quiet minute has really taken a toll on me and without seeing a doctor,i can clearly see the signs of depression and anxiety. 

    Moving to Alaska and finally having friends has helped that but it hasn't hidden the lows i have. But recently one of my lows has cost me my best friend. I had posted on facebook that i felt like after a year "my people" were walking out of my life. 2020 has been a crazy year and being quarantined and not being able hang out was taking a toll on me. But because the way i was feeling and because i put my emotions out there, someone shared my emotions with my best friend and in turn she felt i was being immature and talking crap about her which was far from. Since then i have been called petty, immature and pathetic. For what? For expressing my feelings? For not going to her when i felt the way i did? Never in my life did i think expressing my feelings would cause me to lose the most important people in my life. I could talk till i'm blue in the face and apologize for my actions but the honest truth that would not bring her back. So for now i just move on with my life and live with my actions and accept the consequences. 

    But on a much happier note in July we purchased our first home here in Alaska and let me tell you we are making big progress. And don't worry i will be blogging all of our progress!!! We started off the school year Homeschooling. Noah in second grade and Kynslee in Kindergarten, we quickly learned that they were not excelling with mom being their teacher. Kynslee cried everyday because she left it was to hard and Noah just wasn't applying himself. So we switched them to virtual school through the local elementary school and they are both thriving! Kynslee actually enjoys going to school now! Both Kynslee and Noah cant wait to go back to in person school to meet all their new friends! In September i started selling Red Aspen. A brand i truly believe in and love. A company with clean makeup and a company that empowers women on every level and striving to help everyone succeed. When i share Red Aspen i know what everyone thinks OMG ANOTHER MLM! Yes its an MLM but let me tell you its way different then your normal pyramid scheme! I literally get to do everything from my computer, i dont get stuck with inventory, and i get to have fun! Red Aspen makes getting ready fun and sometimes i need that. My hardest struggle is finding support from people and having them know how great this business is. Hardest part for me is getting interaction within my group on facebook, i dont want a pity party but as a business owner it hurts to see. But if you made it this far in my blog post, im switching from facebook to a texting service so you get deals and updates straight to your phone without having to scroll through facebook. You can text "goldenglam" to 69922 to be included in all fun! I have a bunch of exclusives just for my text group!!! 

    In October the kids and i flew to Seattle and attended my baby sisters wedding!!! There was so much hostility but OMG!!!! it was such a beautiful beach ceremony and we got to gain a new brother in the family! And as always being with family it was much needed but we missed scott dearly! Our weekend trip came to an end and when we got back, we had to turn around and send Scott to Las Vegas for two weeks for work! So basically the entire month of October we werent a family lol.But since he was gone that meant i got to put the christmas stuff up early!

But to conclude this short update, I am learning to cope with things and find me again and the kids are flourishing.